Fatty Got To Ride!

You goddamn right it does.

On Backbone Trail high atop the Santa Monica Mountains near Pt. Mugu, in 2005 on the old bike.


O.K., so here it be. I snuck out today for an hour of road riding (on the mtb), because I was off work and had the time...a rarity anymore it seems. It has honestly been about a month or so since I have even pedaled a single turn, and it was liberating. I am posting these photos not for you guys..but for me. I am shaming myself into forcing the time to get back in the saddle and ride every day. I only rode twenty miles today on the ol' Ti hardtail, and it damn near killed me to maintain a 20m.p.h. average. It's shameful, and I am sorry...to myself. That being said, it was a blast to be out on the 4th of July cruising the neighborhood of Upper Arlington like a giant land manatee out of the zoo.


In the last race I did before moving, high atop Idyllwild with Vanessa, Randy, King James and Roger.



As the children gawked in awkward fascination at the flacid pile of human flesh jiggling along the roadside, the parents averted their eyes so as not to ruin a healthy appetite. Fumbling into my pocket for tasty energy treats from HOSTESS and Little Debbie, I managed to inhale about fourteen Ho-Ho's on my one hour excursion (What? I was hungry!)


Sad that I once was fast enough to be in ads..like this Kenda ad w/ pic from Flagstaff, AZ.


As I hit the formerly insignificant "bump" that ascends the river's edge to Kenny Road, one of my breasts flopped out and almost got hung up in the front wheel. As I began to feel the fried chicken gravy course through my ever-shrinking veins, I began to hallucinate like a bloated drunkard in a sweat-lodge. Thankfully the highest point here is only about nine or ten pedal strokes in total distance, so just before my heart exploded, I managed to crest that bump.


Marathon Trail in Utah is at this point about 10,000 feet or so. Elevation? What is that?



Planning the ride to get the "climbing" (funny) out of the way first, it was all down hill back to my 'hood. Finishing up early like I do in the sack, (One of my favorite ads . Ever.) I had some time to do hill repeats along the Tour Of Grandview race course. Thankfully, I am home now and ready to blow my Super-Band-Waistband form Fruit Of The Loom

**"Fruit Of The Loom Guys" imposters. Not cool, man. Not cool.**
completely out at the family BBQ. I can only hope that you are all enjoying the day, getting in some beer, boobs, and BBQ.

Took my beloved hardtail out on January 1st, 2009. It was at about 9 degrees that day.



I just hope the boobs you see don't come from the team owner here at Backbone Adventure Cycling...



Indian Creek trail to Noble Canyon? Yep, I USED to be able to ride all that on the hardtail. I couldn't even get up the pavement climb to START that ride now.



Happy 4th everyone!

Rim Nordic Pix!

I'm completely unsure as to why my Mac couldn't save this photo once I flipped it (about 100 times) in Photoshop, so here ya go, I'm tired of trying!


Claudia Espinoza pounded her way to the top spot at the Rim Nordic XC race last weekend! The photo shows Claudia in the same spot she'll be in a future Olympic MTB race. Roger and the crew rolled up to the race, along with Vegas Bob, Humberto Castro, Randy "I just broke my new Snyper rear derailleur hanger" Rush, Cheyne McKeever and a PILE of Amino Vital product.
It was a hot day, and Vegas Bob got to the race about 12 seconds after it had already started. VB has so many speeding tickets, he singlehandedly funded the new fleet of BELL helicopters the CHP uses to hunt him down on the way to races.



Claudia allows herself one treat per year, and apparently it's Otter Pops. My favorite is Alexander The Grape. What's yours?




Vegas Bob and Humberto getting ready to get ready. Bob's diet of strippers and beer keeps him in tip-top shape for World Cup level competition. It just doesn't work as well at Rim Nordic.



Orale! Humberto just finished up stabbing someone for their curb feelers and is seen here ready to race at Rim Nordic. His bike is made from recycled '64 Impala parts, and even has hydraulics!



Randy is seen here hammering past the start/finish area, unaware that about one more mile in, his pedal would fall apart and he would eat total shit...just like he did yesterday at Noble Canyon. One day, he'll realize it's hard to race with a live that failed
months ago.


Claudia ravaged her bike and her body in the technical and dusty mountain course. She would finish we she often does..in 1st.








The Amino Vital Endurance Formula kept the team rocking in the summer heat. If you don't use it, you should...otherwise you may end up all slow and ugly like Chris (that's me)!


The TOMAC CARBIDE is so bad ass, the other bikes have formed a "body-guard" coalition to keep it from harm's way. See how they cocoon it, in case another bike were to try to take it out? That's respect, bitches!

Randy's New Snyper!

Although not NEW, it's new to him! Randy just took delivery of Jim Roff's TOMAC SNYPER that was shipped from Colorado. Randy is eagerly awaiting the chance for me to take him back to San Diego's Big Laguna Mountains to ride Indian Creek Trail and down via Noble Canyon. Get some.

JEFF'S CARBIDE FRAME SHIPS MONDAY!

I just got off the line with Joel, and the remaining Carbide is being shipped MONDAY! That just leaves Vanessa's TYPE X for the team allotment. Thanks to Joel for dealing with my constant calls, e-mails, overhead skywriting flights, smoke signals, morse codes and other various forms of communication. Jeff has a HUGE race coming up, and the timing could not be better. At the end of the month, he and the family are heading to Wisconsin for the solo run at the 24 Hours Of 9 Mile!
It will be a lot nicer racing that on a Carbon full-susser TOMAC than his beat-up 20 year old s**t-box hardtail. Thanks for the support Joel Smith and TOMAC BIKES...

Randy's Rim Nordic Race Report..

Hey Captn,

Well last weekend a few of us "Boners" (I love saying that) headed up to the Rim for race number 1 of there summer series, now I was really looking forward to this because I love these races very technical very hard and just plain fun.Anyhoo they are now running Super-D on Saturday to but I could not make that but I understand the hitman kicked some ass on Saturday good job Brant. So I roll in on Sunday get all unloaded and signed up get in touch with Roger to find out when they were showing and he tells me that V is sick and won't be racing but he was coming with the newbie's on the team Claudia, and Cheyen. We popped up the new Kenda e-z up and all got ready.

In my class we had 16 guys but they ran three class's together so we a lot of people off the start and I managed to roll out of the first tern in fifth so I was feeling good and that lasted about another quarter of a mile when I had a pedal malfunction ( NO KEN IT WAS NOT THE PEDALS IT WAS LACK OF CHECKING THE PINS THAT GO THREW THE SPRINGS) and came loose and on the first downhill my foot came off and down I went I guess that's what I get for not checking everything on my bike, so anyway now I'm dead last and trying to climb without being clipped in and that turned to be a real bitch and I even fell over on a climb (I can't believe I admitted that) so three quarters of the way threw the first lap I'm telling myself F it just quit but I never quit in moto so I'm not going to start now and I figured out I could still clip in on the other side of the pedal although it was a bitch to try and spin to one side and get in but it worked out and my second lap was pretty fun and actually I ran eight minutes faster on lap two and passed a few guys in my class to finish 11th.

They also had some new sections that were really fun because they took out the old switchback section at least for this race but the laps were over eight miles long so that was cool. As far as the rest of the team VB showed up twenty seven seconds before his start according to Roger I didn't even know he was there until Roger asked to feed him after my race but he said he didn't have a good and finished up thirteenth on the day. I also met Claudia and Cheyen and Claudia
picked up the slack for the rest of us by winning her class and Cheyen finish up sixth.

All in all it was a pretty fun day but man I forgot how damn hard Rim Nordic is but it was great to be back after missing all there races last year. Well next up big bear in two weeks so we will talk to you then.

Randy


**Thanks Randizzle! Your replacement pedals are en route as we speak!**

Xpedo Service!

Randy had a bit of a problem at last weekend's Rim Nordic race. You see..his pedals managed to loose a screw, and as a result he fell. A lot. While that sucks, the nice thing is that XPEDO was VERY FRIKKIN AMAZING and within an hour of hearing of his dilemma, shipped out a brand new pair of Ti/Mag 220 gram pedals. Just like that. Free. No shipping. After being raced on. A lot.


Just wanted to give a HUGE thanks to Successful Living/ Parkpre Road Racing Team manager Ken Yamakoshi (who's baby has to be about two and a half at least?) for attending to our pedal needs so quickly. Here is a photo of Ken sticking his ass out at you, because he can. Kiss it! That's where the nice pedals come from. KISS IT!

Discipline

Roger loves his team. He loves it so much, that he had a set training schedule for the team last week. When nobody showed up for the ride, he rented a helicopter and flew all over the coast of California..and there they were. Fishing. Not realizing it was him, he set down a couple miles away and began to infiltrate their position. Sneaking up on Vanessa first in a Ninja-like move, he went for the choke. This photo was captured by Bert just as V realized that the new "training" regimen also would involve serious bodily injury as per the new contracts. Way to go Roger!

Cyclist Killed In Malibu.

Article sent via Vegas Bob...

Cyclist killed in Malibu
Alleged drunk driver held

Updated: 06/28/2009 12:47:12 PM PDT


By Daily News Staff

MALIBU- Robert Sanchez, 30, of Oxnard has been arrested after he allegedly struck and killed a man and injured his son cycling along Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu.

Sanchez appeared to be under the influence of alcohol, according to Malibu Sheriff officials. A blood sample was taken to determine if Sanchez was indeed intoxicated at the time.

The incident occurred about 1:30 a.m. Sunday. The man in his 40s died at the scene, while his teenage son was

taken to a hospital and expected to survive.

Sanchez ditched a truck he had been driving about a mile south of the crash, and fled on foot. He was found and taken into custody. His identity was not immediately made available.

Authorities say the cyclists were participating an annual 200-mile ride that begins and ends in Malibu.

Travel Report From Fuzzy

Hey Chris!

Just got back from Montana last night, toooo long of a drive man. Had a
good trip into Big Sky country. Did some major mileage on the roadie in
Montana and especially in Yellowstone National Park located in Wyoming.
We had two full days of riding in the park and still didnt get the
chance to see everything there, its too massive. Pretty amazing land
out there though just the fact that we were riding in a massive caldera
that spans 45 miles wide and it blew its lid thousands of years ago and
now is growing again is just mind-boggling. From the caldera's
metamorphic walls, geysers shooting super heated water into the air,
fumeroles releasing steam that sounds like a jet engine, hot springs
alive with bacteria, earthquake faults to prestine rivers and high
alpine forests. The wildlife is also amazing; roaming herds of bison,
bald eagles and ospreys diving to catch fish, moose, wolves, and of
course the grizzlys! Here are a few pics from ridin in the Park, we
actually got caught in a massive thunderstorm that blew in out of
nowhere ... reminds me of the time we rode in the Brian Head area
hiding under the trees and getting pelted by hailstones.

I'm actually heading up into the Sierras again tomorrow until Friday.
No bikes this time just straight mountaineering the peaks in our
beloved granite monolith.

I'll talk to you later when I get back!

The Wanderlust Fuzz

Luka's First Ride Sans Training Wheels!

Luka set for launch.


OK, so I know this isn't really team related (like the Michael Jackson story is?), but I was VERY proud of "Tiny" yesterday. he learned to ride his bike for the first time without training wheels! Here is the photo essay of how it went down!


Look ma! No training wheels!





Immediately after the accomplishment, we headed to Luck Brothers for coffee and a donut. Well done!


Now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Tour Starts July 4th!

The Tour starts on July 4th, with coverage once again being handled by Versus Network! Although Tomac doesn't make a road bike, I'm willing to bet that if they did, Backbone's very own Bert Blanchette would jump in to the race and show those boys what a drug-free ass-whuppin' would look like. Bert has ridden several passes along the TDF route, timing himself against the peloton. He actually had staggeringly fast times of L'Alpe d'Huez, coming in well inside the Tour time limit. H e actually did it alone, too, no domestiques to drag him up the hill! Anyhow, while the rest of America is watching fireworks in the backyard, I'll be glued to the set in the hopes that Contador takes what rightly belongs to him..the Yellow Jersey!

Michael Jackson Dead; Nose Still On Tour.

I'm sorry....this was just too damn funny and I couldn't resist. The similarities!

RIGHT?


Michael Jackson passed away today, and while it is certainly a moment in history to be aware of...I'm sadly disaffected. I think had it happened just after the release of "Thriller" it would have been more serious. After that album, the craziness just got too crazy for me to even care about. Seriously, nobody believed that he was actually singing to a woman in "The Way You Make Me Feel," and the only good thing about "Thriller" was Vincent Price's (now THERE is someone I'm sad to loose)voice over. O.K., that's not entirely true..in the video's opening sequence, the "girlfriend" (haha) says "Michael, you'r not like other guys." Oh my god the jokes after I heard THAT line were incessant. Anyhow...too many years of children in his bed and Jesus Juice led to Randy Rush being the way he is now, and that's just not acceptable..unless you are on our team, then it's o.k.

So, goodbye to the '70's and really the '80's, it was nice knowing you. With Farrah also passing, today was a thirty-something's changing of the guard. We now can look forward to our clothing becoming "fashionable" again, and probably see Duran Duran in Vegas at the Tropicana when we are all geezery and still clinging to "New Moon On Monday."

Rest in piece, Michael. Just be sure all your "pieces" decay at the same rate the rest of you does...